Authentic presence is the ability to stay yourself under pressure, so that others can trust what you say and tell you what they know. It shows up as congruence between your words, your energy and your actions.
Why executive presence is no longer enough
Traditional ideas of executive presence are no longer sufficient for effective impact. In fact, some traditional ideas about what makes an effective communicator can create more distance than we anticipate. Why? Because when persuasive communication becomes too focused on the impression we want to leave, we become more focused on ourselves than on what is going on in the room and with the people around us.
Traditional markers can include having fast answers, sounding convincing, appearing completely prepared and following a script or rehearsed set of answers and behaviours. Preparation and knowing the material is a given. What I am talking about is when preparation takes over, and we deliver the answer we planned while the room is asking for a different one.
I have been that person, and still am sometimes: the one who is convincing when the answers are prepared in advance. The problem comes when the script is disrupted by a difficult question. Then what? If we follow a script too closely or focus too much on projecting a certain style or image, it becomes difficult to stay congruent.
When the script runs out
Ashley was presenting her newest project to her leadership peers, and everything was going according to plan until it wasn’t. She remembered the lines, the slides were perfect, but then things began to shift. She was asked a fair but critical question about the change, and she wasn’t prepared for it. Her smile tensed and she continued to use enthusiastic words, but afterwards people sensed that something was not quite right. Ashley’s tone of voice had shifted. She was still using positive words, but her body language told a different story. Ashley was not worried about the project. She was worried about being asked something she could not answer.
Further down the hall, Christian was giving a similar update and invited questions. But he looked at his watch and sighed slightly when the first question came. After the second question, people sensed that questions were not really welcome, and the meeting ended. The questions were still there, but the team took them to the coffee machine.
What we communicate without saying anything
These are everyday examples of when our words don’t match what we project in how we show up or how we act with other people. Ashley’s tense body language didn’t match her positive words, and her peers left wondering whether she had doubts about the project herself. She only found out weeks later, through a colleague who told her.
Christian invited questions, but his actions communicated something different, and input he could have used was lost. He was worried about time. That was all. But no one in the room could see that, so they read the sigh as the answer. He only found out later, when the questions had already circulated elsewhere and created confusion he could have prevented with one sentence: I want these questions, so let’s take them after the meeting.
The problem is that what we intend to communicate doesn’t always match what we unintentionally say. Even a slight sigh when a question arises can communicate something else that others can read. And it is difficult to be in control of these small actions unless we know what is going on inside ourselves and how we may respond when the pressure is on.
Closing the gap between intention and experience
We cannot always control everything, which is why being grounded in ourselves and willing to engage with what comes our way is helpful in the long run.
The most trusted leaders and communicators I have worked with are aligned in what they say, project and do. Not perfectly. None of us is. But grounded enough to notice the gap, and to close it before it costs them trust, which is the hardest thing to rebuild.